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theLEEK.net
Presents:
- Season Premiere -
Reporting: Gabe Meadow & Eric Dahlgren
The
new Out of Arda Channel is bringing the season premiere of Middle-Earth
Idol to TV viewers everywhere. The news has made a great stir, as
indicated by numerous polls . Out of a reported 29 million polled by MVP
(Merry Vs. Pippin) Limited, approximately 24.5
million said they plan to view at least one episode, and the rest were
probably lying.
“I’m
so excited!” exclaimed JenWise WellShire, a resident of Hobbiton,
while smoking her pipe in anticipation. “I’ve been waiting for this kind
of show since the ending of Survivor: Dead Marshes and Fear
Factor: Eye of Sauron”
Harda Rock
(E! Special Expert) commented: “I’ve seen The Lord of the
Rings trilogy, and this show is going to be even better!”
Many
viewers use this opportunity to purchase a new big screen TV. RicFraudo
Cunning-Sham from Edoras can relate: “I didn't want to miss any detail,
so I ended up buying a Mirror-Vision™ equipped plasma set, made by the
elves of Lothlorien".
According
to Saruman the White, owner of consumer electronics superstore
Isengard Towers, his exclusive line of 'seeing stones', known as Palantirs,
is far superior: "A Palantir costs 2/3 of the price of a good hi-def TV, and
offers better resolution in 3D! I mean you'll see things like you're
right in the audience!”
“I
can't tell who will be the winner, but at the end it should be worth waiting
to see” concluded WellShire .
Harda
Rock concluded with “If you like our Idol, watch their Idol!”
theLEEK.net
has acquired official contestant & judge fact bites, detailed below.
Contestant
Info
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Aragorn,
Son of Arathorn |
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Race:
Human
Date
of Birth: Year 2931, Third Age
Bio:
The heir to the throne of Gondor and a descendent of Isildur. He is a
boyfriend of Arwen (who is also a judge on this show), much to the
displeasure of Elrond. It appears that he also has an allergy to
shellfish, which causes a puffy face. Member of the Fellowship.
Personal
Comment: “Since I’m not yet king of Gondor, I’ll try to be the
king of this show!” |
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Frodo
Baggins |
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Race:
Hobbit
Date
of Birth: Year 2968, Third Age
Bio:
The former Ringbearer and savior of Middle-Earth,
he has lost one finger
to Gollum.
Personal
Comment: “After the Quest of the Ring, this is
just the thing for
me.”
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Samwise
Gamgee |
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Race:
Hobbit
Date
of Birth: Year 2983, Third Age
Bio:
Frodo’s faithful companion, he saw Frodo
through to the end. He is a gardener by trade and is married to his
sweetheart Rosie Cotton.
Personal
Comment: “I can’t carry Frodo’s load for him of
course, but I can carry mine!” |
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Legolas
Greenleaf |
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Race:
Elf
Date
of Birth: Unknown
Bio:
The Prince of Mirkwood. A conceited pretty
boy-type elf. A member of the Fellowship. He is practically a teen idol
as it is.
Personal
Comment: “I’m a shoo-in. I got the best looks and the
best voice. Anybody who really thinks they can win should watch out!”
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Gimli,
Son of Gloin |
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Race:
Dwarf
Date of Birth: Year 2879, Third Age
Bio:
A member of the Fellowship. He has anger
management issues and a freakish high voice unnatural for dwarves.
Personal
Comment: “Will my voice weaken my chances here? I need more
pay.”
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Eowyn,
Princess of Rohan |
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Race:
Human
Date
of Birth: Year 2995, Third Age
Bio:
Sister of Éomer and niece of Théoden, King of
Rohan. Was in love with Aragorn for a bit. She slew the Witch-King at
the battle of Pelenor Fields. Has a ‘softie’ reputation.
Personal
Comment: “I’ll just do my best. No point in fighting.”
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The Judges
The three judges posing with their secret Idol advisor
| Arwen
Evenstar |
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Race:
Half-Elf
Date
of Birth: Year 241, Third Age
Bio:
Daughter of Elrond. Girlfriend of Aragorn. And
that annoys Elrond.
Personal
Comment: “No way anyone is better than Aragorn!”
| Elrond
Halfelven |
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Race:
Half-Elf
Date
of Birth: Sometime in the late First Age
Bio:
Keeper of one of the Three Elven Rings. One of
the wisest people on Middle-Earth. Angry at Aragorn for being his
daughter’s boyfriend.
Personal
Comment: “I am certainly neutral. But when it comes to Aragorn,
all bets are off!”
| Sauron |
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Race:
Maia
Date
of Birth: Created at the creation of Arda
Bio:
Forged the One Ring. Enemy of all Free Peoples.
Also a judge on this show.
Personal
Comment: “Those performers will just be horrible, I know
it! They’re Free People beings for crying out loud!”
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