As the Software Craftsmanship movement strives to raise the bar of software development and emphasize the coding skills of individual developers, aptly entitling themselves ‘software craftsmen’, the question that comes to mind is – what about the rest of us? Yes, I am talking about the bulk of software developers — hard working, doing our best to meet unrealistic deadlines despite our mediocre skills, sweating whenever our latest code gets released, living in constant fear of losing our jobs to off-shore outsourcing firms, and spending our free time playing ‘Quake’ and ‘Doom’. As software development becomes commonplace and mundane, I can’t help thinking that we should be considered the ‘coal miners’ of our time.
In 1955, Tennessee Ernie Ford released a giant hit called ‘Sixteen Tons’, describing the life of hardy coal miners:
In honor of the modern ‘coal miners’ of software engineering, I took the liberty of rewriting the song’s lyrics, as shown below. If you happen to know (or be) one of them, play the video above and sing along with the modified lyrics:
16K / the Tennessee Software Board
Some people say a man is made outta mud
But a programmer’s made outta source-code and bugs
Source-code and bugs and skin and bones
A mind that’s a- geek and an ego that’s blown
You write 16K, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in threads
Head hunter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I owe my stock to the company board
I was born one mornin’ when the sun didn’t shine
I picked up my keyboard and typed my first line
I wrote 16K of unreadable code
And the project lead said “Start compiling the load”
You write 16K, lost on the net
Another revision and the geeker you get
Bit bucket don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
My next release is not out of the door
I was born one mornin’, it was drizzlin’ rain
Memory leaks are my middle name
I was raised in the jungle of poor design
Cain’t no code review make me walk the line
You write 16K, covered with sweat
You try out your code and the system resets
Bill Gates don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I first need to fix what Windows ignore
If you see me playin’, better step aside
A lotta friends didn’t, a lotta friends cried
Armed with a gunshot and a blade made of steel
And if this time I didn’t get ya, in the next game I will
You write 16K, what do you get?
Another day older and the more you forget
Vacation don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the workers offshore…
Tags: Deadlines, Gaming, Outsourcing, Software Craftsmanship