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New Archaeological Evidence Reveals:

Cellular Phones Were Used By the Ancient Incas

Archaeologist Fay Kerr and colleagues from the University of Phonyx, Shamrizona have unearthed artifacts that shed light on how the Inca used cellular phones to organize their sun-worship rituals and communicate with their gods.

According to Fay, "many scholars believe that the famous Inca stone pillars were actually used as cellular stations, providing full national coverage and free weekend minutes, but no physical evidence of the actual cell phones was found -- until now”. 

During a survey on the Island of the Sun, in Lake Titicamocky, Fay K. team discovered the remains of a totem pole depicting Inca gods. One of the deities is clearly seen holding a cellular phone (see picture below).

The totem pole phone has a striking resemblance to the legendary Nokia 6800 (below).

The team's research indicates that, on the June solstice, the Inca king and high priests of the empire assembled in a small plaza beside a sacred rock to witness the dramatic setting of the sun, while taking pictures of the solstice with their advanced camera phones. Later, taking advantage of their rollover minutes from the previous month, they would email the pictures to lower-class pilgrims, who had to stay in a second platform outside the sanctuary wall, and were forced to pay extra air-minutes to receive the precious pictures.

Unfortunately, the primitive plans offered by the Inca cell phone providers did not include free mobile-to-mobile minutes; this forced many of the natives to make their business calls at night, when the blessing of the sun-gods was not effective, a fact which inevitably contributed to the demise of the Inca Empire.

Supporting the new evidence is the fact that no buried wires have been found in any of the excavations “This is the ultimate proof that wireless technology has been used throughout the Inca Empire” concludes the team.

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