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Following the Arrest of 'Steven’:
Biblical Figures to Advertise Dell Computers

Following the arrest of Benjamin Curtis, the 22-year-old actor who portrays "Steven" the Dell Guy in TV commercials, on a marijuana possession charge, Dell’s management has decided to use familiar figures, better known for their integrity and morals.

The first dignitaries chosen for the task are Moses and David, which Dell feels “truly symbolize the values and vision of our company”.

“We count on Moses to appeal to the older, more conservative potential buyers, while David’s younger and friskier image should draw the juvenile computer consumers”, said Bo Gus, Dell Computer VP of PR.

The two had to be brought up to speed in today’s technology, and were both quite excited. “I wouldn’t have to break the tablets had I used a memory stick to carry the Ten Commandments”, says Moses in retrospective, although he is not convinced that Dell’s hyper-threading technology would assist him in parting the Red Sea.

David, on the other hand, is more impressed with the digital media capabilities of today’s computers: “I could cut a CD with my favorite harp music, and send it to King Saul instead of showing up in person and playing for him every day; or I would take an 8.0 mega-pixel picture of Goliath’s head and post it on my website” he fantasizes.

To preserve the momentum of the original commercials, the new slogan will be: “David, you’re getting a Dell!” (See picture below).

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